I am 1% smarter

Date : 28th march 2008
Time : 1.25AM
Listening to : Nothing
Where : MC - Room

I've been reading. Reading back my 8th journal.

Date: 30th July 2005
Then I was rather stress also. When I thought about my math, I really wanna die you know. I even thought of dropping out of school.

I was in Form 6 then. And to think math could make me this stressful even though I really like math. And now, math is nothing compared to Action Script 3. Somehow I feel 1% smarter everytime I got a script right. (Quoted from Chris) Like just now, I figured out why my script didn't work. It's the doink "maximum character" in the inputTxtMC. DOTS... Bodoh. 2 hours for that stupid silly discovery. That's why I feel 1% smarter. Now I need to figure out why my score is not accumulating in the script.

Dear Lord...=.=!

Think AS3.0 gonna haunt me like math. Love it but can't do it. Menangis aku. Sammo the diamond thingy really... Akan aku menjajahinya satu hari nanti. Aku tau BM aku salah..But I forgot the word for "conquer...So menjajah. HHEHEHEHEHE.

Aku gila semacam. Oooooh... And thank God for Design method class. Idea was approved.

kk... I have to figure out the score thing liao. Somehow things look hopeful after the 1% smarter incident.

-chen-
[1.34AM]

Patience

Date : 27th March 2008
Time : 2.00AM
Listening to : One More Night
Where : MC - Room

Well, patience didn't kick in for some time now. Tend to just ignore a lot of things being said to me. If I feel like not replying I will just keep quiet and not say a thing. Sorry man Sel. Today was just one heck of a tiring day so when you joked and stuff I just couldn't communicate back. I guess some things need to be learned again and again until I finally get the grasp of it. And patience is something that I need to deal with, not to mention faith. Well I guess most of the time, (apparently) I appeared to be optimistic. But faith is not equal to optimism. But thanks for the prayers and all. Been working on the book of Ezekiel again after suggesting to Yen on the book of Daniels. This time, I am going to finish it. You know, it's been truly refreshing to read again. The Bible I mean.

Lately. religion had been quite a topic. For instance today, we had a discussion of Christianity, Islam and also Buddhism. No Hinduism. We don't have any Hindus around. And it was quite a discussion. And again, as usual, I made the point that the major difference between Islam and Christianity is the status that we believe Jesus is in. And again, Jesus is worth believing in for as God, He came down to die for my sins. So yeah, and hence Passion of Christ topic when Zheng and I went home. It just came out of nowhere and again, Christianity came up. So I shared a lil' bit more on that.

And I think things took a good turn when I tried to break away from the thoughts of me being beyond help and all. And though prayers had been for the same things over and over again, I'm allowing God to speak to me through His word. Usually it was always me that talks and not allowing any room for His word to come through. I admit I still feel abit stagnant right here but the clog is clearing up. And yea, again, patience should kick in soon or else I prob will feel heat up my spine again.

I wouldn't say it was because of stress la ok. Just that I've been giving in to my cranky mood and all. And now I am having idea block. Guess I better sleep it off for a while. And thanks, really, people for praying. Very much needed. On my part, I will keep working on it.

Dunnoe why. I sounded like someone else right now. Weeeirdddd....

Btw...regarding my previous post, it was so early in the morning and I get cranky. But I still stand by what I said. I don't like that word.

-chen-
[2.14AM]

The F word really makes me wanna slap someone.

Date : 25th march 2008
Time : 2.33AM
Where : MC-Room
Listening to : I really can't help it...It's somebody's status

I just have to blog about this. I can't stand it running in my head for so long. I mean yeala, it's her status she can put whatever she wants but =.0... Ugh...I am so sick of it. So over-saturated with the F word and sorry to say..I hate it so much. It's like 4 in a sentence and I think I'm going to faint everytime I open MSN main window.

I had a crazy thought of blocking her. =.=! I am definitely crazy liao. Just so I don't have to see lest I think badly of someone. Ugh~! If you happen to read this, it's not your problem I guess. Just me. T.T I am so miserable right now. I wish I could be as selfish as I can and force you to take that down but obviously, I am mad. So, ignore me. I just want to rant about it. Dang... I really think that is pretty crude.

I really... cannot tahan. I am so serious about freedom of speech. But now I am really wondering about the freedom of sight. =.=! And please, don't come telling me (anyone at all) that everybody is entitled to put whatever they want. COS THIS IS MY BLOG AND I WANT TO RANT ABOUT IT!

-chen-
[emoe queen right]
[2.39AM]

Remembering Easter and Auntie Kim Neo

Date : 23 March 2008
Time : 11.07PM
Listening to : Ju Hua Tai(piano) - Jay Chao
Where : MC - Room

It's Easter. Today we celebrate Jesus' resurrection. As often as I always try to remind myself how much Jesus sacrificed for us humans... I always forget to remind myself that the most important thing in our Christian faith is Jesus' resurrection.

But if it is preached that Christ has been raised from the dead, how can some of you say there is no resurrection of the dead? If there is no resurrection of the dead, then not even Christ has been raised. And if Christ has not been raised, our preaching is useless and so is your faith.
1 Cor 15:12-14

Today, I went to church, expected things to be as usual. I got news from Ju yesterday evening that Auntie Kim Neo has already passed away. I was shocked and stunned for a sec. But honestly, yesterday, I was so busy with programming that I let it slide after a while. Then I forgot about it. Then I came back home and then Sathom sms-ed me. Then I remembered Auntie Kim Neo again when he asked how was I doing. Yet, I was too tired. I fell asleep.

Then in church, when I told Rebecca about it, then it hit me. I won't see her again. Then I found it so hard to contain my tears. During worship, I felt so overwhelmed... It's true that I wasn't exactly close to her. But I've had spent some time with her while we were in church last time. I don't exactly know how to handle death well. I guess it helps that I don't see her often. I won't miss her. But today, around 2000 years ago, Jesus rose from death. And so will Auntie Kim Neo.
It was written in the Bible... those who's passed on has fallen asleep, that's all. And I was comforted, remembering the Lord who conquered death.

On Friday, Jesus was flogged and crucified. Many lose hope. His disciples were watching from a distance. But it was only Friday. Sunday was coming. He conquered death. He gave hope. He cleansed us from our sins. As shared by Uncle Kam Loong, although there may be many "Fridays" in our lives, there's always "Sunday" that is coming. Don't lose hope.

Today, i was tempted to go home early. But decided to stay on for children's ministry. I am glad I did. The children were so adorable. And their faith and enthusiasm for Jesus are to be applauded. No wonder Jesus said:

I tell you the truth, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it.
Matthew 10:15

Anyway... I think in a way, I will rejoice for I now Auntie Kim Neo will no longer suffer with cancer anymore. But she will be dearly missed by all. She was, after all, a lovely person.


In the next entry, I will blog about class. For now... I just want to appreciate how good God has been to me. And to remember Auntie Kim Neo.

-chen-
[11.35PM]

Action Script 3.0...

Date : 21 March 2008
Time : 9.44PM
Listening to : Weird sound from upstairs
Where : MC-Room

AAAAARGHHH~! Action script. TT... You know what is so weird about this whole thing? It's that it's so fun too learn and all but I just hate it when it comes to my project2. Aih... Entah ler... Believe me, it's fun to script. But when it comes to my project.... T.T <--Like that lor.

var scripting:Boolean=true;

if(scripting!=true){
trace("Yeh!Nice to learn!);
}else{
trace("Headache...Wanna die...);
}

Adoih... Sedih... SO much to do yet so little time. Maybe I should be more organized you know. Anyway, I just found out that the ice skating ring in Sunway is under renovation. The ice melted liao. So...ugly.
And yea, ate at KimGary today. Wahpiang. So noisy. Even MCD also not so noisy. I mean come on man. Malacca kopitiam also not so noisy. So uncomfy eating there and besides, the food also tak sedap. that's my 2nd try there. the first was with Joon. He belanja-ed But...aih..crappy food lah. Not as good as expected. Maybe just Sunway. I dunnoe...

Other than that, today had been fun. Not so yesterday though. I scripted for so long and I even stayed away from The Last Canopy lor! In total I tried scripting only one section and it took me 6 hours or so. And just to find out it was so wrong. Aih..Better now then never right. But today was really fun I must say. Scripting for the sound thingy was cool. Tanyus and I were like blur a bit today. Whatever was told to us by Hazmer was gone in within seconds after he left. Aduh... And so lawak in class today. laughed until stomach ached. I should have around 6 packs by now with all those crazy stuff. =.=!

Kla...Time for WebDesign assignment. Sometimes really bengang with my work man. Seriously. Bengang. Sammo tomorrow got replacement class so I cannot... note... I cannot balik Melaka with my bro and parents. Aih..takper la.

And Adrian... YOU SPAMMER! SLAPZ~!


Sorry. No time to photoshop properly. If not u sure look like masuk tong for real one. HAHAHAHA!!!! With love, from ur sis.

-chen-
[10.13PM]

Raining pretty heavily now...

Date : 20th March 2008
Time : 5.33PM
Listening to : Rain & Thunder
Where : MC - Room

Aih... It's raining so heavily now. Lately, Kl's weather had been a bit mad. Too hot and the suddenly will be super heavy rain with loud thunder and bright lightnings. Sigh...

Anyway, I just got back from Hazmer's tuition class for flash. Okla..Learned new things today. Apart from that, I think life had been quiet . Maybe not so . Yesterday a friend talked to me about her relationship with her boyfriend. Hmmm... I dunnoe. I was quite shocked to actually find out that I actually know him well enough to predict what he feels and what he will say. And this was the first time I was that honest with my friend about what I think despite knowing that my words may hurt her. Usually I will just hold back. But I guess she needed to hear from me. Anyway, hopefully they will be okay by now.

Aih...Bro is in Genting, Zheng is in Putrajaya. All alone now at home. But biasa la. Even if they are home now also we will be in our own room and do work, play game, chat and whatsoever. I wished I will have more time to read all those books that I just bought. I've browsed through but really... I don't have time to digest. Books like Communication Arts(Ad Annual 48), The Ultimate Graphic Element Collection and many of my IDN mags ad also Practical Web Design Mags. Most of my books are very image based but still...Aih..No time to digest what I see. And for the mags. There are so many things to read and learn from but I don't have time. Hmm... I guess since it's raining pretty hard and lightning flashing so often, I think it's best to leave the lappie alone for now and read. Flash will have to wait then.

k then... That's all for now I guess. And I prob will be spending Easter in BSGC this year. I guess recovery from backsliding is in progress. Been doing good lately. And I think it will work out just fine.

Haih... I miss Bim and Bo too. So, Bo, you are not the only one. :)


-chen-
[5.45PM]

#4 wei!!!

Date : 19th March 2008
Time : 10.50PM
Listening to : Nothing
Where : MC-Room

It's all tanyus' fault. Now wahyu and I got addicted. But I beat hist score. WAHAHAAHAH! And I rank no.4 lae~! Haha... =.=! I shud start on flash now. Before that...Dengan bangganya... My nameabove Wahyu. HAHAAHAHA! Next time la Wahyu.

Gamers...Don't start playing. I am serious. But... Nah... here. The Last Canopy.

Spiritual Warfare

Date : 18th March 208
Time : 9.58PM
Listening to : Some songs played very loud by neighbors... =.=!
Where : MC - room

I have been in a spiritual dump lately. Took a turn for the worse yesterday. 2 really good friends talked to me. Quite a roller coaster ride actually. Then Quiet Time today, God spoke.

Luke 22:31,32
Simon, Simon, Satan has asked to sift you as wheat. But I have prayed for you, Simon, that your faith may not fail. And when you turned back, strengthened your brothers.

I know it's for Simon but this verse jumped out from the passage. Like what Uncle Kevin always said to us youth... a verse, when needed, will jump up from the many passages. That's when God speaks. And the last part, I really felt it. When you turned back, strengthened your brothers. Been reading Adrian's blog after Ye asked me too. I guess I just have to take it as a lesson. And I really don't want to be like this anymore cos' I am so sick of it. When you are so spiritually stagnant, you feel that the whole world stops. In my case, it does ok. And I don't like it. I know what Ju said was right. No one said it's easy anyway. And I really should stop having that mindset:"Takperla...balik Melaka rehab..." Cos if I want to get back up, I really should start now. Not going to blame the situation here. Not going to blame anyone. It's me. And everytime I read the part where Peter denied Jesus 3 times, it hit me pretty hard when the Bible says, The Lord turned and looked straight at Peter. I really will not be able to phantom how much sadness could possibly be seen in Jesus' eyes.

That's why I want to get back up and be a strong Christian again.

And in support for my flash lecturer who took away my Morrocco's dream...=.=! Please check out the game that he scripted and supposrt him for the competition!

AHBONK!

-chen-
[10.47PM]