Foolish idiot.

Date : 3rd November 2009
Time : 9.52PM
Listening to : Came to my rescue - Hillsong
Where : Room - Bandar Utama

I don't know how the heck I can endure this long. It's never easy. You. Yes YOU. Coward. Shallow. Irresponsible. And I have no idea how I can still stand you and bloody sayang you this much. Yes You. Only you. Stupid idiot. You cannot counter affection with hate. So stop trying to make me hate you. It's futile. If it works I would have hated you a long time ago and not watched your back all these while. You stupid crazy fool!!!!!!! So sooooooooooo foolish. Can't you do this the proper way? Must you try to be hurtful? Yer! Where got people so foolish one! GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. 

No. I am not even close to being mad at you now. Nothing is worth losing a friend. Pity. It' your call if you can accept the situation or not.

-chen-

[10.13PM]

This is one point of my life where i feel that my life is out of control. So much contradiction. So many things based on a lie I'm feeding myself everyday. And yet all these while, I know lies will never set me free.

I moved

Date : 10th October 2009
Time : 10.16PM
Listening to : Backpacking Around Europe - Yuna
Where : Room - Bandar Utama

Yeap, I moved to BU. So you won't see me blogging from Room - MC anymore. Had a tough time packing everything up and a tough time watching people leave. Pretty lonely here in BU I must admit.

Work was alright. Haven't gotten myself busy yet. Hung out with Dee yesterday along with Hong, Fadzil and Uncle Kennie. :) It was great meeting them. And nice stay over at Dee's place last night.

I've been occupying myself with work and think less of other things. No one to hang out around here so just go to work and come back and sleep. And keep to the unusual time of sleeping before 1AM during work days. XD Weird eh?

Yeah yeah..this blog is dead. There are many things that I wanted to say but I don't think it's fitting for anyone to know. So I tend to write more in the other blog. So bear with the silence for a while more. I shall get back to blogging, soon? If there's anything interesting la that is.

Talking bout interesting, I haven't even blog about my grad camp yet. Haha. See la how. Ta!

-chen-
[10.22PM]

GGAHHHHHHHHHHH

Date : 19th September 2009
Time : 5.10PM
Listening to : UP soundtrack - Married Life by Michael Giacchino
Where : Room - MC

Gaahaahhhh! I know! It's been so long since I last blogged here. Sometimes I do randomly dropped some thoughts down at Tumblr. But neway... graduated for about a month edi. Everything went well. One of these days when I have the time and energy I might just post up some photos of the whole grad campaign. Fuh. Thank God it's over.

Gonna start work in another 2 weeks. Will be working in Immerse. Ogilvy and Mather actually called up but I had to decline. I don't think I wanna start off in a big company. Don't ask me why k. I feel more comfy with something smaller and tight knitted. Dee got the job though! XD

Guess this will be my last post in Mentari Court. I am all set to move out by next week. I am already missing most of my friends who left. Lately hung out only with male friends. No more girl friends around Mentari. X.X! And for 2 weeks in a row I had Wednesday movie session with Zafri and Sathom. Amir joined us this week. It was so hilariously fun.

I was annoyed on Thursday. GAH! But you know, I dunnoe wtheck is wrong with me I went ahead and purchased it anyway. x.x! Darn...babi...semacam. Kla! I gt pack! Ta!

-chen-
[5.17PM]

Metal lady

Date : 26th August 2009
Time : 7.38PM
Listening to : Joanna - Kool and Gang
Where : Room - MC

Zheng's leaving tomorrow. The whole house will be empty for the whole month. Just me. Sigh... Pretty sad occasion in these few days. Especially after the launch on Friday which I will update later. Right now, I am just too emo to do anything...even packing kinda suck so bad right now.

Had a chat with my lecturer yesterday... He said something that struck me.

HAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHA xD my heart also rasa nak melt lah dengar this kind of story a guy who's capable of melting a metal lady

Metal lady? Aih... Dunnoe. Defeated in the end. What's so metal about me. Absolute failure man. As much as I wanna deny it, I am still back in square one. Don't judge me. Stop protecting me. I need closure. Do I really deserve none?

-chen-

Do you know...?

...that I have so many things to say to you but I just can't get it off my chest.

...that I actually felt jealous and yet I said things that totally contradict with what I feel.

...that I felt disgusted with myself for being in this situation.

-chen-
[6.05PM]

let's go

Date : 17th August 2009
Time : 10.46PM
Listening to : I live my life for you - Bon Jovi
Where : Room - MC

Okay chen, you heard him. Let's go. Don't loiter around. You're obviously not thinking right. Goodnight people.

-chen-
[10.56PM]

After all

Date : 15th August 2009
Time : 9.41AM
Listening to : After All - Collective Soul
Where : Room - MC

Ah...Keeping myself super busy so I won't think about things that will evoke unnecessary emotion.

We steal to lose every colour
From the sky
Then crawl as a child
While the shadows burn our eyes

We know there's no longer shine
On this burned out rainbow

Lately it seems we've been chasing
What times resolved
Maybe something means nothing here
After all

Whispers are now screams
This conclusion never ends
My pride with your kiss
Even angels cant defend

We know were running head on
Into our confusion

Still we hide safe behind these crumbled walls
Cause we know there's nothing here after all

After All - Collective Soul

God, will I remain like this forever? Please let me know. sigh... I am tired to be in this never ending circle. Don't think I can even cry anymore.


Going coming
Thought I heard a knock
Who's there no one
Thinking that I deserve it
Now I realize that I really didn't know

-chen-
[10.01AM]