Wednesday, June 20, 2007

Mood Swing

Date : 20th June 2007
Time : 3.22AM
Where : Mentari Court - living hall
Listening to : We used to be friends - Dandy Warhols

We watched Lelaki Komunis Terakhir today. Danny, Rin, Michelle Junia, Christine and i. It was okay. Was addicted to the song Malaria menjajah Malaya song. Darn gila. Haha.

Neway, after Marion's class, we went to Uncle Lim. Btw, we were supposed to cross dress. Apparently. Cis...Only Chris, Zheng and i actually dress out of the norm today...Chris not really la. And David was supposed to wear sari and sathom kebaya. But didn't pull it off.

I ate cheesecake alone today. Sigh...

And then i became hyper again in McD. Attempted to steal tickets. Just joking. Rin and i finished 3 packs of fries. And an ice cream each. like usual...our ganja place...made us real sampat-ed. And was helping Sathom with the room plan and stuff. And we came to the conclusion that both of us expired liao. Haha... Nothing to talk about. So when we were about to go home, it started raining. we were stuck together with nothing much to say. Man... Prob due to him having not enuff sleep and me having pre-historic monster syndrome.... Cis.

And Manfred dude.... Don't think so much la ok. I'm having terrible mood-swing and we are perfectly fine okay. i dunno why you think i was mad or something. I am not. And you happen to not read this...aiya..i guess i have to do it face to face liao. I AM OKAY! Don't always think that i am mad or something. Seriously.

I'm supposed to do my lowchart now. But i am seriously not up to it. I'm really down in the dump. I don't like it.

How long have I stood here beside you

I live through you

You looked through me...

Ends : 3.41AM

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

George O'Maley, prince Char, Corbin Bleu.... Oh no....

Date : 19th June 2007
Time : 12.32AM
Where : Living hall - MC
Listening to : Songs from Bryan's comp....

Streamyx finally came. Finally. And i'm in love again. THAT GUY IN ENCHANTED ELLA! Prince Char... Ww...I'm drooling. I tell you... He, George O'Maley and Corbin Bleu have one thing in common... Their hair freakin nice wei... *Pengsan*

Okay... seriously...My dad...super keng driver. And my God...super Keng also.. I reached KL from malacca in less than 1 hour and half. Reached TOA on time. Phew... Thank God. Perspective was let off an hour early.

Okay... i really dunno what to say la. Lately, i hung out alot with Chris. Did lotsa sketching. Hoho... Chris and I came up with a T-Shirt design purely by mistake. Mistake is another form of creativity. My bro came home just now and told me Sathom drew an evil version of me. ALWAYS an evil version. What is this man? You are so not getting ur camera cables back. 10megapix! wah lao! I had an emotional breakdown seeing the camera package. All i wanted was a 7MP camera and i almost got it from dad but i rejected the offer. And now Sathom gets a 10mp!?! *Drop dead on de floor* I was darn stupiak... No..i am just plain thrifty.

I made a card for a friend today. I hope through this he may be happy being himself . The way he really wanna be i mean. So yeah...

Okay...gtg and pull zheng up from bed... Ta!

Ends : 12.47AM

Sunday, June 17, 2007

Absent mindedness.

Date : 17th June 2007
Time : 9.58PM
Where : Home - Malacca
Listening to : Spanish Eyes - Backstreet Boys

Happy Birthday Thye Chuan! Hope to see you soon!

Neway, i had a great time at the wedding on Saturday. Man... Yoke Woon made most of us feel so sad when she cried. Apala Beng Hui! You started it first! Anyway, it was great la.

I had such an absent minded day today. I drove the car over the parking divider today. I wasn't feeling too well but i needed to get some stuff. I was talking to my youngest bro about some issues when i realized i landed myself in some trouble. Thank God for the help given to me by a couple of people. Wow.... Amazing. I felt so sick after that i went home and sleep.

Then I received a call from Sathom. I was too groggy to actually make out what he said. Something about me being alive and stuff. And then after that i've got an sms from someone but i can't remember. Then i fell asleep again cos i was way too light-headed. I wasn't even sure if Sathom called me or not also. Then his ringtone again. I picked up and he asked me if i was home. And something bout Zheng and visit my place to take a look at it and stuff. I dunno lae. I was so out of focus. Sorry dude. Then danny sms-ed. Until now i havent reply. No batt liao.

Mom taught me perspective today. Just a news flash. I watched Jump just now. OMGoodness... I am so in love with CORBIN BLEU! Aiyoooo...His hair darn adorable. I am dead. Officially dead now. But he's freakin young man.


DAD, happie father's day!


Friday, June 15, 2007

I am sorry i cannot feel but i do love you

Date : 15th June 2007
Time : 11.58PM
Where : Home - Malacca
Listening to : Pretty Clinic OST

Finally...Streamyx at home. Beng Hui's wedding tomorrow. Gwarshhh... Can't wait. I hope my intention to make him a card will work. Ngee Zheng actually thought of making a joke during the ceremony. Hoho! Just kidding. Gahahaaa...

Neway, confession of a really emotionally messed up female here. I realized that i cannot feel the right thing at the right time. Cancer came back. But on different person. But i dunno if i was way too shocked to feel anything or i was just plain inhuman. I dunno. Dad came in and asked me to pray about it. He's not a Christian and yet he believed in the power of prayers. I hope. But when i started talking to God, i stopped in the middle of my sentences many many times. It never happened this way before. I didn't know what to say so i started off with confession of sins and thanking Him for all His blessings. But even that i was so jammed up. I didn't know what to say. And i prayed about cancer. I cried but i don't feel. What was wrong i really dunno. Dunno if it's just me or what. Cancer is such a big word. I will not question God for bringing it upon my best friend and my favorite uncle. I will shuddup rather than asking why. But i cannot feel... What is wrong with me? Does it not matter or i am just in my self-denial state again? Tak tau...Tak mau tau... Susah hati tapi tak rasa. Entah apa hal. I hate this voidness in me. I think i am running away again.

Cancer sucks.

Psalm 103

1Bless the LORD, O my soul: and all that is within me, bless his holy name.

2Bless the LORD, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits:

3Who forgiveth all thine iniquities; who healeth all thy diseases;

4Who redeemeth thy life from destruction; who crowneth thee with lovingkindness and tender mercies;

5Who satisfieth thy mouth with good things; so that thy youth is renewed like the eagle's.

6The LORD executeth righteousness and judgment for all that are oppressed.

7He made known his ways unto Moses, his acts unto the children of Israel.

8The LORD is merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and plenteous in mercy.

9He will not always chide: neither will he keep his anger for ever.

10He hath not dealt with us after our sins; nor rewarded us according to our iniquities.

11For as the heaven is high above the earth, so great is his mercy toward them that fear him.

12As far as the east is from the west, so far hath he removed our transgressions from us.

13Like as a father pitieth his children, so the LORD pitieth them that fear him.

14For he knoweth our frame; he remembereth that we are dust.

15As for man, his days are as grass: as a flower of the field, so he flourisheth.

16For the wind passeth over it, and it is gone; and the place thereof shall know it no more.

17But the mercy of the LORD is from everlasting to everlasting upon them that fear him, and his righteousness unto children's children;

18To such as keep his covenant, and to those that remember his commandments to do them.

19The LORD hath prepared his throne in the heavens; and his kingdom ruleth over all.

20Bless the LORD, ye his angels, that excel in strength, that do his commandments, hearkening unto the voice of his word.

21Bless ye the LORD, all ye his hosts; ye ministers of his, that do his pleasure.

22Bless the LORD, all his works in all places of his dominion: bless the LORD, O my soul.

Another confession of an egoistic female. I chose not to feel even if i do. I know i am running away again. Not good. Trying to get out. Andrew, it's climbable. Feelingless due to feeling too much.

Feelings sucks.

I’m out of vogue, I’m out of touch
I fell too fast, I feel too much
I thought that you might have
Some advice to give on how to be