This time around...

Date : 16th December 2007
Time : 6.04pm
Listening to : Runaway Train - Soul Asylum
Where : Malacca - Bedroom

Well, the past couple of days were really quite a time spent. For one, I couldn't walk. So I had to get my blood extracted out in a very painful way behind my right knee. I couldn't decide if I should laugh or cry. -.-! Fancy how I was so helpless there and my mom started laughing. The worst part of the treatment was the massage. Wah lao... It was nearly unbearable. But anyway, what in world is unbearable anyway? I think everything is bearable to a certain extent. Well, anyway, Thye Chuan would certainly love to watch me in that situation. You dongoi mia amoeba. And it was so painful when he massaged my right leg I had to bite myself to stop myself from crying man. And while I was "tortured", that uncle and my parents were talking about how to train a dog! Sweat... Well anyway, the scars stayed for the whole night... I mean the part I bit my own arm. But the blood extraction area was still quite visible. And I reckon it looked like I was having leukemia or something. Nah... Just exaggerating.

And I went to our church Christmas mime practice. Okay... I wouldn't describe it here...lest Zafri bising about it. To clear up your confusion, my gerbil friend, this is what we... excuse me...my church mates are going to do. It's really too bad I couldn't take part. But I am glad I would be around to watch and help out for the practice for both the skit and the mime. Well.. I watched the mime 2 nights ago and it was quite well done. And glad too that I could help out with the decoration. Oh...here's the original video for the mime.

Well.. I would say our church one would somewhat be clearer in the context of the light catching each of the white area evenly. And I think less people are involved in this. Anyhow, it will be a success. After the practice, Ju, Yen, Melissa, Auntie Tina, Sharma and I went to the Taman Asean mamak stall... The one I've been constantly complaining about wanting to go back to.... Lol... We had quite a laugh there. It was really a joyful night with many of the usual crazy jokes and antics. Oh... And I found out the alternative meaning for the book Malachi and Leviticus. This is better left unrevealed. I salute those who could even thought of such ridiculous stuff but it was a hilarious definition. And as usual... Sharma and I would be bickering. About how he would actually abuse his daughter (in the Christmas skit) by rubbing his hair on her face. It was one hilarious statement man.

Oh, and so today was the first Sunday I spent in MGC after such a long time. It was great. We had a skit practice and I was...ahem the director. Mad director... a title bestowed upon me by my fellow MGC-ians. But mad I was. It was fun doing all these again. It's been quite a while. The last time I did this with them were the Parents Night which sent me crying by the end of my testimony. Not like I could help it. I hate sharing testimonies. I know I would cry. Jesus is great and sharing about Him just bring tears and I just don't know why. Wel,, anyway... I stood in for Fong Wan role as the abuse victim and it was disastrous cos' my 'father' was Sharma and I was laughing my head off. But anyway, all went well in then end and it is just great to be back and be in the family again.

Uncle Philip's sermon was inspiring too. Well, since got is all-knowing, I should not fear about my future right? And a reminder by Shuen and Hwei was quite a slap across the face too. I just don't have the sense of belonging in KL church. And I know the reason and how is it that we youth couldn't do better in welcoming our friends to our church in MGC? In context of number, we couldn't possibly be smaller or more complex than the KL churches. Why is it that we find so difficult to take the initiative to welcome the new-comers and make them feel at home. We had this talk last year and nothing changed? Wow... I must be one very forgetful person. And I hope my statement here wouldn't offend anybody but Hwei is right. Jesus is our Saviour and He died on the Cross for us. And having our best friends not knowing about Christ and watch them go to hell was really quite a bitter pill to swallow isn't it? It's more than just bitter pills. It's gonna be heart-wrenching. Because you know you could have done better in letting them know and understand why we are so convicted that only Him could have save us. Again, this is my conviction, for those who read my blog, I have no intention to offend... This is my conviction.

I had a dream this morning and I woke up quite disturbed but I decided not to dwell in it. Anyhow, the key for letting go is definitely forgiveness. That's what Chris' father said and I am still searching deep within what is it that I need to forgive since I've been finding excuses for everything that happened. Both to justify myself and also the other person, regardless who. But was I that wretched that I was always at fault? But I think I first need to forgive myself for whatever wrong I have done and not let guilt have me in his hand. But lately, as I have already found out, I was not at fault. I've done what I could. But the results were never in my hand in the first place. It's in His. Therefore, I will stop trying to do His job. Life is happier and definitely easier that way. As I've repeated many many times. It's just a phase. It will come to pass. And I can assure you, you are definitely not making things easier for me. But I will not hold that unto you. Because you believe I will make it through. I tell you, I've already made it through.

Truly, you are just a buddy. Ain't that nice? Now we can kick each other asks. But we've always been kicking each other's asks... nyahnyahnyah.

No comments will be entertained regarding the last issue. Both in comment box and chatbox...

-chen-
[6.59pm]