I ended my problem. *grin*

Date : 28th March 2007
Time : 5.02pm
Listening To : Zheng talking
Where : Zheng's place

Just came back from school. Sathom pulled it off man. Okay, at least one thing settled. Hehe... Ok... i actually can't believe i finished 2 A2 size figures. And i successfully drawn Dhanya and Yen Mei... Not that accurate la i must admit. Neway, really thank God i finished both figures. I was tempted sore yesterday not to finish it and just sleep. Phew...

Btw.... Good news and bad news. My problem was solved. Thank God for that. Bad news : Chen lying to herself again. But surprisingly this time, really tak rasa sakit. Dunno why. Haiya chen... early early also know i'm immune to this one la so yeah... Just shuddup. You end this chapter d. Period.

Coming back home this friday. I am glad. I need time off. Tired. Sick. Bored. Sigh.

Took a test... called Colorgenics.... You know... entah betul ker tak... Whatever.


You are tending to pursue your objectives with concentrated intensity and it would seem that whatever obstacles may come into your path, you will stick to your guns and will not allow yourself to be deflected from your purpose. You are striving to achieve recognition and what is more - you deserve it.

Most people are conditioned by their environment and you are no exception. You are an extremely emotional person - so much so that 'the wrong word' can lead you to tears. You feel other people's pain. You feel the need of sympathetic relationships and a pleasant work environment in order to develop and grow. You are an impulsive, loving individual with a great deal of inherent feeling.

The way things are at this time it is necessary to 'go slow'. All the pleasures that you have anticipated should be left in abeyance until some future date, but all is not lost, you are able to derive and achieve considerable gratification from someone quite close to you.

You are frustrated and stressed. You appreciate the finer things in life but at all times you appear to stay aloof, critical of everything and everyone about you. You will not be carried away by your emotions and you refuse to trust anyone or any situation unless genuineness and integrity can be absolutely vouched for. Therefore, you keep a strict and watchful control on your feelings as you must know exactly where you stand at all times. You demand complete sincerity as a protection against your own tendency to be too trusting.

You really would like to be completely uninhibited - to let your hair down - but you are held back by your sense of logic and rationalilty, since you realise that by simple stupidity you could lose everything - whatever that may be.

Melancholy

Date : 23^rd March 2007

Time : 9.10AM

Listening to : (I wanna take) Forever Tonight – Peter Catera & Chrystal Bernard

Where : Mentari Court – Living Hall

Adoih… Half an hour more before meeting. Thank God class cancelled today and also next Friday. If only Saturday class cancelled too but it’s Drawing II class… heehee…Nope… Wanna see our funny Emperor Hoo and the Prime Minister Way Ho. Drawing is the only class beside Drama and Design II that helps me relax. Calligraphy kill me kao kao. Debbie scares me. Fascism…. Phew… I just don’t know why I get tongue tied whenever I see her and I just can’t seem to get any word right. Aiyo… Nevermind…

Neway, fellow Christians… Thanks for your encouraging messages and especially the prayers that you guys done for me. I am definitely okay now so yeah… thank you guys so much. Tse Hwei, I was super de duper surprised you actually gathered that much of God’s armies to pray for me yeah. Haha… Thank Mrs. Chua for me. Now she knows why I’m on her mind lately. Samuel Lee, thanks for the phone call and the debate of who suffers more not sleeping. Haha…I guess I win yeah. Geng Yi and Juliana, thanks for the visit. It was great to see Malaccans. Yen, thanks for the prayers! Aaron, Gary, Sherene, Sharonne, Melissa, Hwee Lin, Adrian my bro, Daniel See and Auntie Tina, thanks a lot for the messages. For those I didn’t reply back, I am really sorry. And Uncle Kian Boon! Yeah, thanks a lot for the call yeah. And now that I am “actually” in your “hard work in school” club, I guess I will pull it through la since you were able to do it. And also to learn not to depend on my feelings too much. Thanks people! And CK, Stephen! I don’t want to stress sama-sama la!

Okay, back to school stuff. I was so sick of Figure drawing. But yesterday, when I went to see my tutor, Zhou You or critic session, I was inspired again. Hehe… The seniors’ works were fantastic. As for Comm Skill Copywriting…It was fine la… I still prefer Gary’s class in Comm Skill I and Drama. Gosh, I miss Gary wei! That day I followed my bro to his drama class, conducted by Gary. Gary allowed me in and yeah…almost asked me to demo to them. No thank you… Overjoy appearance was the hardest to get an A actually. Calligraphy and Lettering. I super takut man. Debbie asked me to modify all my letterings of the giraffe. I think she didn’t really like my letters lor. After modification, she gave me a green light to proceed. She said it looked better la. So yeah… I guess she didn’t detest it that much. But yesterday in my Design II class, Irene, my lecturer asked to see my work. it was done on the graph paper so I showed her. I didn’t know why I bring that thing around also. Still, neway… I showed her and she asked me if it is possible to give her a softcopy of the illustrator format for my lettering in 2 days time. Me..you know..don’t really say no one… so I said can…Then she said she has an exhibition. So, probably she will exhibit mine. Heeeeeeeee………… Okay..shuddup Chen….

Yesterday, I went for a movie with Danny, Zafri and Sathom. We watched Mr. Bean’s Holiday. Beginning wasn’t that funny la. But towards the middle of the show and end, it was rather hilarious. Aiyo…That little boy was so cute and handsome..Probably 12 or less his age you know… His name, Max Baldry. Darn pedo man.. But what was more surprising will be Danny lor… He was practically and literally in love with that little kiddo. Zaf and Sathom were horrified. Haha… After movie, we went to McDonald and eat. We had a conversation there about superheroes and stuff. Then about Zaf’s experience with a thief… Sathom’s being really pissed that his veins were going to pop out… Haha.. Danny didn’t talk much but agreed with the other two monsters to throw me out the window. That night… I tell you… A few people at the lower floor were singing karaoke and it was… deafening.

I have an analogy here…. About me. There is this situation. Something like that apple in the Garden of Eden. And that apple looks really tempting you know but I won’t go eat it one lor…I hope…hahaha… So yeah… I really rather be in Snow white than to be in that position of Eve. At least, Snow White’s apple can’t really kill you. Hehe… Whatever…Dunno what I am talking about. K..gtg…alarm just rang..have to go meeting d. Bye!

Ends : 9.41AM

_______________________________________________________________

Date : 23^rd March 2007

Time : 10.19pm

Listening to : Sad Chinese – Final drama

Where : Mentari Court – Bedroom

Today, both History and Design II meetings were fruitful. We are doing Pop Art for history. Many ideas contributed and main concept probably came from Bryan. More deep and from his, many ideas were given. At around 1.00pm, Sophia, Zheng and I went to meet Li Wen for our Design workshop project. He taught us a few cool tips and tricks for Photoshop and Illustrator. Then we had a meeting in Drama Lab for our Design II Installation Art. Our theme is Chinese Wedding. It’s been so so so long since I last became a leader. I mean… Haiya… nevermind. Neway, I noticed I actually missed having such responsibility on my shoulder. Neway, this meeting was really fruitful. Almost all of us contributed many many brilliant ideas. Really praise God for these ideas cos’ before I actually prayed for ideas. Shown Irene our ideas and we finalized on 2 ideas.

I had a dream that day. I dreamt that I was back to MGS. And I was walking at the back lane that connects ACS and MGS. Along the wy, I saw a big Fox with a horn on the forehead. This fox was super big ok. I was walking with a friend. This fox was chained up and I was like, “A wolf…” and my friend turned to me and said, “It’s a fox.” And then we started running. That fox was chained but somehow the chain was extended all the way to the end of the lane. And half way down the lane, this fox caught up with me and my friend. I turned to my friend and said to her, “Why your father chain this fox up if he will be able to run this far chained up?!?!?!” and she said she didn’t know. Then out of the sudden, the fox spoke to me. apparently, it was a male fox. he said, “You taking multimedia right?” I was so scared… I can’t remembered what I said but this fox became rather friendly. After awhile, he left. I was still terrified so I started running again but then suddenly a female fox ran to me and stopped me . I was so terrified in that dream. Then that female fox said, “You taking Interior Design right?” I was shocked la but I said I dunno. Then she was like pestering me and said I should take ID. Then she left and I quickly ran off. Then that 2 foxes ran up to me again and gave me some food. Aper ni??? Anyway, I told Danny about it and he laughed kao kao… he said must be my mom and dad. then I told Zaf, Amir and Sathom and they laughed like gila. They had the same view as Danny. I dunno la… I woke up being scared but after telling these people I totally cracked up man. Crazy people. Haha.

I was troubled. I was sad. I was jealous. I was being an egoistic idiot. I don’t know since when I started to put down the mask of happiness and explored my other emotions and letting it go wild and loose. I was being unusually sarcastic to people. Even to Zheng and I was crazily sarcastic to James. Sorry people. I don’t know what is happening to my system. And I wrote my journal more often than usual since I started TOA… Just like how I used to write when I was back in Malacca. Just pouring out what I feel and also the emotions that I don’t show in public. I am expecting my “Myself” History final project to be rather contrasting to the Design II “Myself” which was really…really cheerful and happy. I guess I am tired of just showing only one emotion to the world. I mean, I am happy. I really am. I mean it when I show that happy factor in me but I just feel tired la. It made me less serious sometimes. Nevermind… I think people take me as a simple-minded person but I guess I do have deeper side of me that I don’t really like to show to people. The other day, my bro, Zaf, Amir and I went over to Sathom’s place. Both my bro and Amir needed to use the internet. I was supposed to go over to Zheng’s but I was too lazy to walk. I helped Amir to develop his ideas on Surrealism for his workshop. Then he was like telling me that I actually think deeply about stuff sometimes. Well, I do… People just don’t see it cos’ thinking deep only comes when I am usually alone or I am having a serious talk with people. Then he went on to tell me that I chose to think simple at things. Sincerity. This word “sincerity” has a strong impact on me simply because I am really afraid that this value was never in me from the start. I don’t know if what do is sincere or not. If I think it is, will it really be? Nevermind….

Amir gave me a surprise today. He gave me a bunch of really nice flowers. Thanks friend. A tint of nature in my room will do me a lot of good. Lately… I am feeling melancholic. Lately means it dates way back to last week Wednesday. I was having this field trip for Design II with my classmates. If it weren’t for Danny noticing me wandering of myself, I would have walked my way to other places and be alone for a while. But again… Danny caught me. So yeah… I dunno. I just feel like walking off myself. Inside of me, I have two feelings that always contradicting and contrasting each other. I don’t know why. I won’t elaborate. That field trip day, we went to Greenhut. It was a café with walls signed by the visitors. Nice place. Watching my classmates having fun touched a spot in me. We are going to split into different classes. It’s rather sad to be honest. I left 4 notes on 3 different walls. One was a reply to Amir’s note to God. Another was a note to a person, indicating my withdrawal. One was a note for my fellow CD086-1 classmates. The last one, a drawing on the switchbox near the entrance. Interpretation not given. Cos’ I don’t even know what was it all about.

This post is rather unclear. No intention to. Just so happened that way.
Crazy eh? Nevermind…

Ends : 11.04pm

I kenakan ppl...

Date : 16th March 2007
Time : 7.14PM
Listening to : Always - Atlantic Star
Where : Zheng's place...

Man... i was so stressed...But these conversation cracked me up kao kao... So long never disturb ppl d... This guy been asking Zheng out and yeah... I dunno how i ended up kena-ing him. Must be the stress.....

I am guilty says:
hello giorgeous

I am guilty says:
Busy wiv ur studies huh

~Zhengster~>>...mother of insanity, give me insanity!!! says:
hey dude

I am guilty says:
thank god

~Zhengster~>>...mother of insanity, give me insanity!!! says:
nyea ...jus came home

~Zhengster~>>...mother of insanity, give me insanity!!! says:
thank god ??

I am guilty says:
i thought u will never reply me

I am guilty says:
hows life

~Zhengster~>>...mother of insanity, give me insanity!!! says:
haha...sorry dude , i was having some problem with the net connection ...plus with all my pending work is driving me abit coocoo alr

I am guilty says:
hey can i see u

~Zhengster~>>...mother of insanity, give me insanity!!! says:
huh ?how ?

I am guilty says:
i mean in webcam

~Zhengster~>>...mother of insanity, give me insanity!!! says:
dun have

I am guilty says:
ok

I am guilty says:
so show me ur pics

I am guilty says:
Cmon..

I am guilty says:
ok i dont want to force u..may be u dont want to show me

I am guilty says:
Hey i might be coming to KL end of this month

I am guilty says:
How busy are u in the last week of this month

I am guilty says:
seems busy huh

I am guilty just sent you a Nudge!

~Zhengster~>>...mother of insanity, give me insanity!!! says:
very very bz

~Zhengster~>>...mother of insanity, give me insanity!!! says:
haha....ok den dun force den

~Zhengster~>>...mother of insanity, give me insanity!!! says:
muahahaha

I am guilty says:
hehehe

~Zhengster~>>...mother of insanity, give me insanity!!! says:
coz it;s almost end of my sem

~Zhengster~>>...mother of insanity, give me insanity!!! says:
so it;s gonna be busier den usual

I am guilty says:
really

I am guilty says:
so when r u coming bk to bruneii

I am guilty says:
I was wondering if i can see u in KL as a fren..if only u are free enough

~Zhengster~>>...mother of insanity, give me insanity!!! says:
dunno

~Zhengster~>>...mother of insanity, give me insanity!!! says:
not sure

~Zhengster~>>...mother of insanity, give me insanity!!! says:
dun think so ...will be very very very very very busy

~Zhengster~>>...mother of insanity, give me insanity!!! says:
sorry dude

I am guilty says:
Well i am not asking u to spend the whole day..may be a cup of tea together as afren

~Zhengster~>>...mother of insanity, give me insanity!!! says:
wre?

I am guilty says:
In KL

I am guilty says:
hey lets exchane txts as frens??

I am guilty says:
Whats wrong with exchanging txts as a fren???

I am guilty just sent you a Nudge!

~Zhengster~>>...mother of insanity, give me insanity!!! says:
whats withyou as a fren ler??

~Zhengster~>>...mother of insanity, give me insanity!!! says:
u think i don't know that term mer?

~Zhengster~>>...mother of insanity, give me insanity!!! says:
of course as a fren la

~Zhengster~>>...mother of insanity, give me insanity!!! says:
then as what?

I am guilty says:
so lets exchange txts then

~Zhengster~>>...mother of insanity, give me insanity!!! says:
do u have any idea how big kl is ??

I am guilty says:
nop

~Zhengster~>>...mother of insanity, give me insanity!!! says:
ok...kl is as big as a soup bowl

I am guilty says:
But i will find it out anyhow

I am guilty says:
where there is a will,there is a way

~Zhengster~>>...mother of insanity, give me insanity!!! says:
so if u can fit in it then we will meet

I am guilty says:
wow hehehehe..i like ur sense of hum our

I am guilty says:
ok..infact i can fit into bowl..just need u to be ready to jump into the bowl

~Zhengster~>>...mother of insanity, give me insanity!!! says:
on the map i mean...with enlarged version

I am guilty says:
So that means we can meet then

I am guilty says:
Is it bigger than bruneii

~Zhengster~>>...mother of insanity, give me insanity!!! says:
sorry...it's flat...you can't jump INTO it...ONTO it can

I am guilty says:
never mind i will still find you...

~Zhengster~>>...mother of insanity, give me insanity!!! says:
can't

I am guilty says:
I am confident that i will find u anyhow

~Zhengster~>>...mother of insanity, give me insanity!!! says:
oh...reallly...good for you...

I am guilty says:
well just need your yes...and ur will

~Zhengster~>>...mother of insanity, give me insanity!!! says:
NO

I am guilty says:
No

I am guilty says:
Dunt know why some people are so scared of saying yes

~Zhengster~>>...mother of insanity, give me insanity!!! says:
yea...which of no u dong understand?

~Zhengster~>>...mother of insanity, give me insanity!!! says:
yes...yes...yes!!!!

~Zhengster~>>...mother of insanity, give me insanity!!! says:
but not to your question...

~Zhengster~>>...mother of insanity, give me insanity!!! says:
man...i am so brave

I am guilty says:
Ok...

I am guilty says:
Reallky

I am guilty says:
i am really good in making brave person ..more brave

I am guilty says:
And making them a coward as well

~Zhengster~>>...mother of insanity, give me insanity!!! says:
Oooooh... i'm so scared

I am guilty says:
what shall i make u,more brave or make u a coward

I am guilty says:
Dunt worry i am not a magician..but i have got a will

~Zhengster~>>...mother of insanity, give me insanity!!! says:
erm..... i don't know..... i got a would

I am guilty says:
And with that will i can find u from nowhere ...

~Zhengster~>>...mother of insanity, give me insanity!!! says:
i am nowhere for you to find

I am guilty says:
Dunt worry i trust in me and my will..so i will find u anyhow

~Zhengster~>>...mother of insanity, give me insanity!!! says:
Whatever la....i hope you really find that bowl of soup

*Disconnected*

I am guilty says:
hello

~Zhengster~>>...mother of insanity, give me insanity!!! says:
oh...hello.... do i know you?

I am guilty says:
so u dont remember me now

~Zhengster~>>...mother of insanity, give me insanity!!! says:
errrrrrr... i don't remember

I am guilty says:
Hi5 fren

I am guilty says:
from Bruneii..Gorkha???

I am guilty says:
Biks??

~Zhengster~>>...mother of insanity, give me insanity!!! says:
oh..... yeah... Hi5 bread

~Zhengster~>>...mother of insanity, give me insanity!!! says:
you know..it's a good brand here

I am guilty says:
Well may be u hav got a lots and lots of chat frens

I am guilty says:
www.hi5.com

I am guilty says:
heheh really

~Zhengster~>>...mother of insanity, give me insanity!!! says:
but it's spelled as HIGH5

I am guilty says:
i think u eat hi5 bread quite a lot

~Zhengster~>>...mother of insanity, give me insanity!!! says:
so..yeah...longer

I am guilty says:
remember me or not??

~Zhengster~>>...mother of insanity, give me insanity!!! says:
oh...no...i don't like Hi5...gardenia

~Zhengster~>>...mother of insanity, give me insanity!!! says:
Who said i can't remember you?!?! Are you accusing me of short term memory loss?

I am guilty says:
shall i say a truth or a lie

Ok... So yeah...ppl... Pray for me and my whatever problem yeah... I am having mental problem and don't joke that i already have that har! Kla... Bye.

I was embarrassed....

Date : 5th March 2007
Time : 10.11AM
Listening to : Fisherman Horizon - FF8
Where : Zheng's place

Went back to Teluk Intan on Saturday. Intended to go back to Malacca but mom told us she's in Teluk Intan d so asked me to tag along with Uncle Gary's car. Upon reaching, i learned that it was grandma's birthday.... Adoih...i really bodoh la... Like that also dunno. Neway, Big Uncle and mom shown us their old pictures. Haha...we had a laugh. And i finally get to see the picture of my mother's elder sister. She passed away when she was still young. Sigh... Okay, neway, i was really glad to be back la. Good food, good company. My little cousins were so adorable. After dinner, Big Uncle asked if i wanna tag along to the jambu orchard and i said yes but after that my 3 younger girl cousins wanted to tag along. 12 year old Qiu Ling, 11 year old Yi En and 8 year old Qiu Ting. So we went there with my uncle and aunt. Joked with them and stuff so the whole car bergegar like what like that. Haha... I got very tired when i reached home. I did my Quiet time and then i fell asleep. Yi En came after awhile and on the lights and then started talking to me even with my eyes closed ler. Waaaaaaaaaaaa.... So hard to sleep with them around one lor. They will just come and talk and talk and ask and ask. Haha... I was answering half sleepily and finally it was time for cake cutting d. Big Uncle was so excited with his camera, taking videos and stuff. Darn lawak ler. Haha... Mom and Dad cracked jokes about grandpa and Hong Yi just couldn't stop laughing. All in all, we really had fun la.

Ok...The bad part comes. After the cake thingy, i was sent to go get chee cheong fun. So Hong Sheng followed me but Yi En wanted to follow also. So i drove my uncle's jip... The nearer stall was closed so we had to drive to town. Everything was fine until i off the engine and came down from the car. I didn't lock the car. Then when we got back up, the alarm and hazard lights started to go off. I pressed the button, it stopped. Then it started again and i off it. Even after i started the engine, it still went on and on. It lasted for like 10 minutes. Three of us were like laughing like mad cos it was so SUPER DUPER the embarrassing!!!!! Then i got down from the car and i yelled, "I am sorry!" to the shop owner cos the alarm was depressingly loud and shrill. The shop owner laughed and said, "It's ok!" Phew. Neway, i was praying darn hard for that thing to stop. Everytime it stopped, 3 of us will be like... Phew... And it started again. Wah seh!!!!! Then i asked Hong Sheng to call his dad and he asked us to just drive home. What???? Ish... Better than nothing la... Then Yi En just started laughing and Hong Sheng was totally dying of laughter d. I myself was laughing like mad d. I drove with the stupid alarm on and suddenly, it stopped.... Thank God! But the hazard lights were on all the time and wouldn't stop.... My cousins were like, "Lili! FAster!!!" How to be faster???? it's 80 liao ok? In Teluk Intan??? Ish.... When we finally reached home, we stopped the car, off the engine and waited... Then the alarm went off. Waaaaa!!!! We just jumped out of the car and started complaining about it. My uncle came out and laughed at us and off the alarm his own way... Ish!! When we were inside the house, all 3 of us took a short video about our feelings over that incident.

Hong Sheng : Very memorable... I will tell my cucu about it. Wahahahaha!

Yi En : This waterlily no legs one. Drive so slow. Very funny.

Yi En replayed the video again and again and laughed like crazy! Ish... But it was really memorable la...

I came home at around 11am yesterday, i think. Then i cleaned up my room, fixed Sathom's bracelet (Broke again!!) and met up with Amir for lunch at 4PM together with my bro and Suan Yao. Then i packed my stuff and went to Zheng's place. Then did our calligraphy. At around eight, we went for dinner and then decided to go for a walk at the sunway park. Sat at the fountain there and i wanted to dip my legs in. So both of us did.. Zheng joked that her legs were corroding because of the chemicals in it. Hahaha... Then suddenly the guard came to us and said we an't do that cos' there's electric current in it. Wow.... When we finally took out our legs, we actually felt the tingling feelings like the current passed thru us. Fuh... Hahaha... We were crazy man. Neway, we stayed on and chatted until almost 12.00 AM. Talked bout our lecturers and their slangs. Wahahaha... I laughed until i almost fell into that pool of water. Anyway, we were really like some sort of a mad fella. We saw this frog. And he couldn't jump out of the pool and it is so ugly. Hahaha... And bizarre looking due to his swimming pose. Nyahnyahnyah... Cannot tahan.

Okla...thats all kua... Oooh... Yeah... love the badges made by our class. Heehee... Also, i read back my Friendster testimonials. Man... One thing in common... I am mad. Ish.... Kla...gtg... Neway, Shan... Don't be mad at me la k??? That pool thing was in Sunway Pyramid okay???? Heee.....

So i fall again

Date : 2nd March 2007
Time : 12.22AM
Listening to : I believe - My sassy girl OST

I fell again. And not even in the right one. Why... sigh...