Tuesday, January 08, 2008

Just because...

Date : 8th January 2008
Time : 12.49AM
Listening to : Making love out of nothing at all - Air supply
Where : MC - Room

Ok... Results got messed up for my class. But everything's settled now. And I am proud to say I did good. =) *Grinz*

Moral : B+
Digital Media I : A-
Design Method : A
Visual Fund. I : A
Typography : A
CGPP : A

Thank God for the result. Well, anyway, had my first class, Visual Fundamental 2. Had a test. Lawak man. Anyway, only 10 people in the class today. A couple of people failed. That's sad.

Strange. Today I realized that things changed. Of course, it's welcomed. I am pretty unsure if we will be as buddy as last time but I am quite certain that I actually disapprove with what had happened back at your home. I will certainly put it behind though. It's settled. Not my business to interfere anyway. Strange. I couldn't be bothered. Was it a way for me to detach? I guess not. I am detached. Nah... What's dead will remain dead. Like I told a good friend of mine yesterday, I was pretty sure it was dead. But yesterday it was certified. Yeah, we had a good laugh about it.
Having felt such liberated feeling, I could not help but to feel sorry for the other person. Not that I could help after all. SO I shall shut up now before I start offending a good friend. I've been critical. You know sometimes it's hard to find the right words to say. If I said nothing, would I appear to be indifferent even though there were tonnes of things I wanted to say. You know how sometimes you are just so tired of showing that you care and then when you finally come to your senses and you stopped, and somebody just have to say something to test you. And no, I won't show that I care because it's exhausting and I am really sick of it. If I haven't done enough to show that I cared, I am not going to say that I was wrong. Because you clearly knew that I do care. I don't have to show it for you to know. I don't understand why you asked. I couldn't last 15 minutes talking to you without having hundreds of thoughts in my head figuring out who you are. And knowing that I have that thought running through my head made me feel like I just got ran over by thousands of bicycles. I have failed as a friend. It's like a thick fog that remained in my head whenever I see you. Too foggy to make out what to say. So I reckoned I should just leave. I mean why should I even be affected by that right? Too nosy perhaps. Or perhaps I was just too disappointed in myself for not knowing better. Not knowing you better. No, I could have known better.

-chen-
[3.05AM]

4 comments:

hwei said...

perr (jeremy penyakit)... your posts always so depressing wan.

Chen said...

depressing for that person, not me. hehe...perrr

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Chen said...

har?