Monday, January 07, 2008

You made me shiver in frustration

Date : 7th January 2007
Time : 2.17am
Listening to : Daughtry - Over You
Where : MC - Room

I am angry. I am upset. I am disturbed and most of all, I am sad. I want to tell you right in your face that you should have known better but that's pretty harsh isn't it? And you know that I will not do so. I am upset cos' things went this way. But I have nothing to say. Because I don't know what to say. How am I suppose to react to that?

Sure, it doesn't concern me and what right do I have voicing over this matter? I said if you need to talk, you can come to me. Yes, I know in a way I turned out to be a cold fish after that. Sorry. I feel bad but one thing I learned over this vacation is that I couldn't possibly be wrong in every aspect. In this case, I want to believe that I wasn't wrong. I wished I could have been a better friend and help you get out from this mess. But honestly, I am at lost at what I could do or say. Believe me, you will not want me to say a word. I mean I was so angry and upset that I couldn't stop shaking for some time. But now that I've calmed down, I know I have a role to play. If you happen to read this, listen to what I have to say.

Stand up. Apologize. Fix things up as best as you can. Be rational... Be Well.

I want to be a good friend. But I don't know how far I will go in this matter but you know, really... What's broken will remain broken unless you want to do something about it. I don't know about the others so I cannot say for sure. But if it's guilt that you feel, only forgiveness can wash that away. May not be the things that you want to hear. Again, I am sorry.

I really want you to be well. But if I happen to be a terrible person to confide to, tell me. Then maybe I will stop being such a horrible person.

Lastly, our conversation didn't exactly go well. Like I said, I have no idea or whatsoever on what to say. Maybe when we finally meet, things will fall into place.


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