When this year ends

Date : 31st December 2007
Time : 1.13pm
Listening to : My dog running down the hallway
Where : Malacca - Living Hall

It's that time of the year again. The very very last day of the year. Now, usually, I will feel really nostalgic about stuff and I will reflect back on the whole year. say for example last year 31st December 2006. I had many things to reflect on. I went to my first Bible school. Spent almost the whole year doing crazy things with Ju and Yen. Welcomed a family member to the family of Christ. Great Barbeque night. And many other things. It's quite a sad thing to know that another year will be ending.

BUT

This year is different. Except for these couple of weeks I spent in Malacca and of course some of the events in KL, I have no qualms about leaving this year as soon as possible. I don't know. It's not that the whole year was that bad that I will settle with the phrase

paint it black

or something along that line. Definitely not. But still, I just can't wait to leave everything behind. Of course, I will take a few things with me.

Well, ANYWAY... I promised to blog on my holiday in Malacca. So here goes.

Okay, for my entire holiday here, I've spent a couple of days (randomly) with a few friends. The first night that I came back, I met up with Ju in Taman Asean's mamak. Yen couldn't make it. The 2nd night, I met up with Shan. In Taman Asean mamak. Again. And the next day, I spent the night watching the christmas practice and then in Taman Asean mamak... again. I had to miss meeting SHan and Chuan on one weekend due to my incapability to walk. And I spent quite a number of my days here in church, helping out with the practices. It was hilarious and totally crazy. And on one Wednesday, Ju, Sharma, Livian, Melissa, Yen and I spent our afternoon decorating the church. Climbing up the ladders was a challenge. Yes, afraid of heights I am. So it is not a laughing matter when Sharma or Livia fooled around. But the outcome was fantastic. Yen helped to hang the little presents. Ju and I made the dough glittery deco the day before. It was tiring but fun. And I wanna thank everyone who helped with the deco. I earned the name Tutera that day. I am a party planner in Discovery Chanel. SO, I am David Tutera.

Ok, for the rest of the week before Christmas, I spent the time wrapping gifts and hanging out with Ju and Yen occasionally though not much. Mostly in church for the practices. And I spent the weekend before Christmas with Thye Chuan, Kah Joon, Ding and Kim Kiat. It was Saturday. I went to the children's christmas party in church late. It was such great fun although the time that I spent there wasn't much. Uncle Alan was such a COMEDIAN. Even the adults enjoyed the show that he put up. A little boy was quite fascinated with my camera and he is adorable. But I could see the potential in him to be mischievous. Ans halfway thru the program, Uncle Anthony called me and tiold me that my friend was finding for me. Wahaha. Thye Chuan nampaknyer. That amoeba. But anyway, he had to wait for awhile. I finished with helping the kids to answer some stuff before I took my leave. Said goodbye to a couple of people and Uncle Kian Boon gave me the usual hug and I managed to disturb Daniel for a bit. Joon were waiting in the car. Shan couldn't make it. And we headed to Kota mamak. Anyway, we met a lot of ppl there. Christina and Sitham, wee liang and kelvin. But I talked to Chuan about the design industry while waiting for ding. Kim Kiat and Joon were talking about football which did not interest me at all. Then Ding came and 3 of us talked about movies and stuff. Then 5 of us went to Jonker. I followed KK's car and this stupid fella extorted us of money when KK parked the car. Never mind that. Then we met the rest in Jonker and we kinda split after that. KK and Joon went off somewhere... again. And Chuan, Ding and I just hung out together lah. Lawak betul our conversation. We ate fried ice cream which we exchanged when we got bored of the flavor. Ngok betol man. And Chuan and I had this stupid ketiak fights that sent all of us laughing like crazy. Anyway, we bumped into Ee Jin, Melissa, Elaine and Collin which I usually refer to as Nilloc. Lerrr...si nilloc ni..bising jer. Haha... Anyway, it was such a long time sice i met mel and elaine. Well, anyway, after a while the 5 of us ended up in malim's mamak. Chuan, ding and I walked back to my place and along the way, X-Tiak was born. Chuan's creation. Bodoh. Lawak giler. Then Joon and KK joined us at my place for a while. Then they cabut-ed.

Christmas was great. I spent my Christmas with my family (mom's side) and a couple of dad's friends. It was so lawak. and Richard, my bro got really gila. And we switched gender for a while. haha. And us cousins had so much fun together. And our small little christmas trees almost got swallowed up by the presents. And barbequed food were fantastic. We watched the moon rise from behind the hills. It was so beautiful. It's just perfect. No words to describe the night. And I am really glad that my church's event went fantastically well too. The next day we went to Genting and I was handed the job as "guardian" for the children. As usual. I mean, I couldn't remember since when the task was handed over to me. It's been like forever. But dah biasa dah. Sometimes could be frustrating but most of the time fun. We started off with 9 of us. But 2 went off to joing my bro for AVP2. Then 7 of us went for the roller coaster rides and man... it was such great fun. We sat corkscrew once and cyclone twice. The queue were long and it was freezing! But only my family and my dad's friends stayed for the night. The next morning, my sis, mom and I went shopping for cny's clothes. I couldn't possibly find time to do so in KL.

Ok... 3 days ago, I had a date with my former classmates, Evelyn, Mel, Chenli (Ngan) and Ding. But I was 1 1/2 hour late cos my mom suddenly wanna date me. Wah... pengsan. But anyway, we bumped into Juliana in Satay Celup place. It was great hanging out with these people again. I mean, I was still the same old crazy, laughing non-stop, cracking lame jokes wong chen li. It's just great to be back.

Then on saturday, I brought Hong Sheng to church. And we had a great time discussing the christmas event. That evening, I wwalked my dog and had a trrible time running away from that freaking big dog that squeezed out from the gate. It was so annoying and I think Jackie almost died from running. Idiotic betul. I had to stop running and stared at that dog in order to stop dat dog from chasing us. Freak. Anyway, I spent the rest of the evening with Shan, Chuan and Mel. It was just a small gathering where I managed to touch Chuan's new silicon. hahahaah! And his new wife the ipod touch. Bah. Anyway, it was great to hang out at Mel's place again.

And yesterday's Sunday worship was great. It's been long since I sang the song I Come to You. Touching it is. And I met the newcomer, Albert. Uncle Kian Boon gave us a Christmas present each. Had a crazy time in church too. As usual, I was persuaded to take medicine to stop my craziness. Then we had a discussion on next year's activities. Then Ju, Yen and I went MP. Ate sushi. As usual..say wanna take a few bites only and we ended up spending 60 plus in total. Gluttons. And we discussed on the RBS and Amazing race activities. Then walked around before settling in Starbucks. yen got coupons. Thank God and her of course. Then we went over to Dataran. Bumped into karen. Chatted for a while. Then around 6++ I cabuted home. And was so exhausted. Watched the movie Alfie (starring Jude Law) and then did my quiet time then I dozed off.

And here I am...blogging. In a while I will be watching a movie with my cousin and Shan. The year is ending and tomorrow is a new year.

A fresh new start.

Anyway, no pictures will be uploaded. I kinda malas.

Adios 2007!

-chen-
[2.30pm]

Merry Christmas peeps!

Date : 28th December 2007
Time : 1.52pm
Listening to : Birds chirping
Where : Malacca - Living Hall

First of all...

Merry Christmas!!!!!

It's 2 days late I know but I didn't really have the time to update this almost dead blog. But anyway, I can't really stay for long now. maybe tonight I will blog on my entire holiday here in Malacca so I think it might be an extremely long post. But I had a great Christmas this year with my family and I heard that my church's play and mime went really well too. I am so glad Aaron actually recorded the whole thing up. So Danny, no worries. I guess both of us won't miss out anything afterall... with the exception of the atmosphere there la of course. But I attended the practices and it was hilarious. But Sharma was really serious on that day I heard. Well, anyway, more on that and the rest of the stuff later. Till then, ta!

A young man had been to Wednesday Night Bible study.
The Pastor had shared about listening to God and obeying the Lord's voice the young man couldn't help but wonder, 'Does God still speak to people?'

After service, he went out with some friends for coffee and pie and they discussed the message. Several different ones talked about how God had led them in different ways.

It was about ten o'clock when the young man started driving home. Sitting in his car, he just began to pray, 'God...If you still speak to people, speak to me. I will listen. I will do my best to obey.'

As he drove down the main street of his town, he had the strangest thought to stop and buy a gallon of milk.
He s! hook his head and said out loud, 'God is that you?' He didn't get a re ply and started on toward home. But again, the thought, buy a gallon of milk.

The young man thought about Samuel and how he didn't recognize the voice of God, and how little Samuel ran to Eli.

'Okay, God, in case that is you, I will buy the milk.' It didn't seem like too hard a test of obedience. He could always use the milk. He stopped and purchased the gallon of milk and started off toward home.
As he passed Seventh Street, he again felt the urge, 'Turn down that street.'

This is crazy he thought, and drove on past the intersection. Again, he felt that he should turn down Seventh Street.
At the next intersection, he turned back and head! ed down Seventh.
Half jokingly, he said out loud, 'Okay God, I will.'
He drove several blocks, when suddenly, he felt like he should stop. He pulled over to the curb and looked around. He was in a semi-commercial area of town. It wasn't the best but it wasn't the worst of neighbourhoods either. The businesses were closed and most of the houses looked dark like the people were already in bed. Again, he sensed something, 'Go and give the milk to the people in the house across the street.' The young man looked at the house. It was dark and it looked like the people were either gone or they were already asleep. He started to open the door and then sat back in the car seat. 'Lord, this is insane. Those people are asleep and if I wake them up, they are going to be mad and I will look stupid.' Again, he felt like he should go and give the milk. Finally, he opened the door, 'Okay God, if this is you, I will go to the door and I will give them the milk. If you want me to look like a crazy person, okay. I want to be obedient. I guess that will count for something, but if they don't answer right away, I am out of here.' He walked across the street and rang the bell. He could hear some noise inside. A man's voice yelled out, 'Who is it? What do you want?' Then the door opened before the young man could get away. The man was standing there in his jeans and T-shirt. He looked like he just got out of bed. He had a strange look on his face and he didn't seem too happy to have some stranger standing on his doorstep. 'What is it?' The young man thrust out the gallon of milk, 'Here, I brought this to you.' The man took the milk and rushed down a hallway.
Then from down the hall came a woman carrying the milk toward the kitchen. The man was following her holding a baby. The baby was crying. The ma! n had tears streaming down his face.
The man began speaking and half crying, 'We were just praying. We had some big bills this month and we ran out of money. We didn't have any milk for our baby. I was just praying and asking God to show me how to get some milk.'
His wife in the kitchen yelled out, 'I ask him to send an Angel with some. Are you an Angel?' The young man reached into his wallet and pulled out all the money he had on him and put in the man's hand. He turned and walked back toward his car and the tears were streaming down his face.

He knew that God still answers prayers.

Yes He does people. And again, Merry Christmas everyone.

Love,
-chen-

This time around...

Date : 16th December 2007
Time : 6.04pm
Listening to : Runaway Train - Soul Asylum
Where : Malacca - Bedroom

Well, the past couple of days were really quite a time spent. For one, I couldn't walk. So I had to get my blood extracted out in a very painful way behind my right knee. I couldn't decide if I should laugh or cry. -.-! Fancy how I was so helpless there and my mom started laughing. The worst part of the treatment was the massage. Wah lao... It was nearly unbearable. But anyway, what in world is unbearable anyway? I think everything is bearable to a certain extent. Well, anyway, Thye Chuan would certainly love to watch me in that situation. You dongoi mia amoeba. And it was so painful when he massaged my right leg I had to bite myself to stop myself from crying man. And while I was "tortured", that uncle and my parents were talking about how to train a dog! Sweat... Well anyway, the scars stayed for the whole night... I mean the part I bit my own arm. But the blood extraction area was still quite visible. And I reckon it looked like I was having leukemia or something. Nah... Just exaggerating.

And I went to our church Christmas mime practice. Okay... I wouldn't describe it here...lest Zafri bising about it. To clear up your confusion, my gerbil friend, this is what we... excuse me...my church mates are going to do. It's really too bad I couldn't take part. But I am glad I would be around to watch and help out for the practice for both the skit and the mime. Well.. I watched the mime 2 nights ago and it was quite well done. And glad too that I could help out with the decoration. Oh...here's the original video for the mime.

Well.. I would say our church one would somewhat be clearer in the context of the light catching each of the white area evenly. And I think less people are involved in this. Anyhow, it will be a success. After the practice, Ju, Yen, Melissa, Auntie Tina, Sharma and I went to the Taman Asean mamak stall... The one I've been constantly complaining about wanting to go back to.... Lol... We had quite a laugh there. It was really a joyful night with many of the usual crazy jokes and antics. Oh... And I found out the alternative meaning for the book Malachi and Leviticus. This is better left unrevealed. I salute those who could even thought of such ridiculous stuff but it was a hilarious definition. And as usual... Sharma and I would be bickering. About how he would actually abuse his daughter (in the Christmas skit) by rubbing his hair on her face. It was one hilarious statement man.

Oh, and so today was the first Sunday I spent in MGC after such a long time. It was great. We had a skit practice and I was...ahem the director. Mad director... a title bestowed upon me by my fellow MGC-ians. But mad I was. It was fun doing all these again. It's been quite a while. The last time I did this with them were the Parents Night which sent me crying by the end of my testimony. Not like I could help it. I hate sharing testimonies. I know I would cry. Jesus is great and sharing about Him just bring tears and I just don't know why. Wel,, anyway... I stood in for Fong Wan role as the abuse victim and it was disastrous cos' my 'father' was Sharma and I was laughing my head off. But anyway, all went well in then end and it is just great to be back and be in the family again.

Uncle Philip's sermon was inspiring too. Well, since got is all-knowing, I should not fear about my future right? And a reminder by Shuen and Hwei was quite a slap across the face too. I just don't have the sense of belonging in KL church. And I know the reason and how is it that we youth couldn't do better in welcoming our friends to our church in MGC? In context of number, we couldn't possibly be smaller or more complex than the KL churches. Why is it that we find so difficult to take the initiative to welcome the new-comers and make them feel at home. We had this talk last year and nothing changed? Wow... I must be one very forgetful person. And I hope my statement here wouldn't offend anybody but Hwei is right. Jesus is our Saviour and He died on the Cross for us. And having our best friends not knowing about Christ and watch them go to hell was really quite a bitter pill to swallow isn't it? It's more than just bitter pills. It's gonna be heart-wrenching. Because you know you could have done better in letting them know and understand why we are so convicted that only Him could have save us. Again, this is my conviction, for those who read my blog, I have no intention to offend... This is my conviction.

I had a dream this morning and I woke up quite disturbed but I decided not to dwell in it. Anyhow, the key for letting go is definitely forgiveness. That's what Chris' father said and I am still searching deep within what is it that I need to forgive since I've been finding excuses for everything that happened. Both to justify myself and also the other person, regardless who. But was I that wretched that I was always at fault? But I think I first need to forgive myself for whatever wrong I have done and not let guilt have me in his hand. But lately, as I have already found out, I was not at fault. I've done what I could. But the results were never in my hand in the first place. It's in His. Therefore, I will stop trying to do His job. Life is happier and definitely easier that way. As I've repeated many many times. It's just a phase. It will come to pass. And I can assure you, you are definitely not making things easier for me. But I will not hold that unto you. Because you believe I will make it through. I tell you, I've already made it through.

Truly, you are just a buddy. Ain't that nice? Now we can kick each other asks. But we've always been kicking each other's asks... nyahnyahnyah.

No comments will be entertained regarding the last issue. Both in comment box and chatbox...

-chen-
[6.59pm]

My dear Schnauzer

Date : 14th December 2007
Time : 5.05pm
Listening to : Slow Jam - Usher ft. Monica
Where : Malacca - Room

Okie... Finally back in Malacca. On Tuesday, had a Karaoke session with Chris, Zheng, Rin, Danny and Sathom at Red Box. Bumped into CK there. What a coincident. Anyway, wasn't really that excited about the whole thing at first but after a few songs, things got better and I enjoyed the time spent there. But after that I had to rush home cos my uncle was there to pick me up d. I have no idea why I felt so sad leaving out of the sudden. I hugged everyone but Zheng extra long. I seriously cannot explain why. I guess this term had been rough for both of us. And I truly hope that she will be able to get out of this mess... maybe it wasn't meant to be a mess anyway. Things just can't be explained sometimes. Neither can I explain mine. Well, anyway, I am glad I am back. Lol...I also cannot explain to Chris why I felt so sad upon leaving... Man...See you next year sounded long I guess....

And so my lil cousins merajuk when I was in my uncle's car. About not onlining and not visiting them..blablabla...You know..stuff like that. Well, anyway, I've got a new dude at home. It's a schnauzer. Supposed to get a shihtzu but...yerrr.... so ah girl type. Doesn't suit my bro. And I prefer this dude. Well...It's hard to handle this fella. But yea... I guess it will do me good somehow. And I just placed an order for the new comp... Wow..such randomness...

Well...anyway... Okie...no more anyway.... I dunnoe what I am saying here. So yeah... I will be helping out with the children english tuition in church tomorrow. Ok...SO random too... I guess I really haven't got much to say... And yeah... I met up with Shannon yesterday and I am glad things were well. I guess I was paranoid about things not being okie and stuff. Will meet Shan and Chuan again tomorrow nite for dinner. If everything goes well that is.

ok...I think dat's all. Man...How weird is this....

-chenli-
[5.21pm]

My apologies

Date : 10th December 2007
Time : 2.31am
Listening to : Our Story - Tension
Where : MC - Bedroom

I dedicate this post to those I want to say sorry to.

First of all, Juliana. I am sorry I have made you so worry ever since I came to KL. I have no idea what made me change so much. I know each time when I called, I made you worry more. Sometimes I lied about being okie. I guess I was really okie at that moment. So, I am really sorry. I am truly grateful for your support.

Secondly, I am sorry to my college friends, namely Chris, Zheng, Danny and Zafri. I know how much you guys want me to stop fighting and let things be and have its' own course. But if I let things be, I feel that I have more to answer to God. But thank you for sticking up to me. And again, I am sorry.

Thirdly, I am sorry Andrew for making u worry sometimes. I know that you know me as a person that doesn't shed a single tear. But lately things had been quite messed up. Thank you for listening and for reminding me who I truly am. Thank you GA.

Fourth, I am sorry Yi Kwan. I know you don't read my blog. But thank you for fooling around with me despite both of our stupid problems that are not such a big deal by the end of the day.

Fifth, sorry dude if I've made u any more uncomfortable than you already are. And for discriminating you in some ways. I am really trying to snap out of it. I am truly sorry I wasn't being truly honest with you.

Last but the most important person of all, I am so sorry God. I am so sorry for fighting for the wrong cause. I am very tired. So I will just stop trying to do your job. Grace is a gift. I cannot earn it.

I know many will think I am making a big deal out of this and overkilling myself and fighting too much out of my means. I have no idea why I resist so much. I just reach my breaking point. I promise to be okie when I come back TOA next year. I just need to clear up this conflicting feelings in me. Knowing that a want and a need cannot come together, I will clean up this mess that I made this year. Again, truly, I apologize for my behavior. It's not something that I could control. I hate the me now too. I just fell and it was hard and on the wrong side too. I truly hope none of you, will judge me for this. Because I am really trying to do the right thing.

And I don't even know where I am going.

For those who miss the old chen li... I miss her even more.



-frozenstrawberry-
[2.55am]

My family portrait

Date : 4th December 2007
Time : 8.32pm
Listening to : Ambience sound....lol
Where : MC - LH

What a day.... Pinky called and I rushed over to school for her class. The 1st term for Comm Skill was having a drama. And it was good. And I had quite a chat with the juniors. An interesting lot. And then, I left at around 1.30pm and headed for William's place. Printed the typo final posters there...Goodness...The whole subject cost me more than rm150 bucks.... not to mention CGPP sammo...One project already rm140.... Pengsan... And then I went for Visual Fundamental class... Had our final test there...I actually enjoy simplified figure a lot... Minus the stomach ache, everything went well. After class, Chris and I yam cha in Meng Tien while waiting for my parents to come. We have a dinner date. I called my bro and then we went off to meet my parents, my sis and Raymond. Ate at Buffalo Steak House. My goodness... My family really funny la...especially my dad. So lawak... All kinds of funny funny jokes and statements and actions... Cannot tahan. Laughed until almost got choked. My mom also. Haha... Man..I love my family. Too bad my youngest bro not around. He's spending his holiday in Teluk Intan.

Well, about the previous issue I was dealing with, I may complained a lot sometimes and a lil' paranoid but I am actually doing really well. I guess the hurting part went away after 4 days from that "eventful" day. Recovery rate was so fast and I really thank God for it. It kinda boost up my confidence though. Aih...But I don't wanna say for sure if things may backfire or not but things appear to be good. Just a little more self-control and things are going to be fine. Besides, I will not dwell on something that will not be fruitful. And I definitely will not stay stagnant here. Strange enough, (and yet I am not surprised), I am much happier now compared to that one year of silence. Who else should I thank except for God alone right? So many times He spoken to me in various ways. Even telling me that I have permission to speak for myself. In everything, I will praise God for all His goodness. When I come back next year, I will be totally purged from this issue. Ugh~ I hate one way street. o.0 No worries though, I really still care for this friendship. Don't misunderstand. :)

Anyway... I have to go. I will see you Malaccans on Friday. Ta!


I have one great family...

-chen-
[8.48pm]

typo final

Date : 3rd December 2007
Time : 1.16am
Listening to : water dripping
Where : MC - LH

Waaaa...So fast december d.... Can go home on Fri... It;s good to leave this place. Since thing were taken for granted for a while now. Ok...ill post my typo final project work... which lagged my comp and took up 4GB of space. o.0! Click to enlarge.


And finishing flash class too... Dunnoe ho to post flash work and I think it isn't that good so dun bother la... Kla...tido dulu...tomorrow got presentation.

-chen-
[1.27am]

Happie Birthday JU!

Date : 2nd November 2007
Time : 8.44am
Listening to : water dripping
Where : MC - Room

First of all....

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JULIANA!!!!!

I'm coming back next friday and then we'll go makan ok?

Well, anyway...waiting to go to church now. My last week in Kay el before i'll leave for Malacca. I can't wait for all these to be over. I seriously have no idea what took place for that 3 days. And was I wrong? Probably I am. But i am not the person you should "test-test water with"...

Kla...I gtg....

-chen-
8.47am